And when you think you've figured out the twisted mind of the game designer, something incomparably worse gets thrown at you. The Kaizo Trap isn't a nasty surprise, it's an inevitability. Most of the power-ups will kill you or impede your progress, but every power-up that doesn't is absolutely necessary for survival. Every empty hallway has a wall of cannons waiting just offscreen. This isn't simply Nintendo Hard it's sadistic. Might we be the first to say.welcome to Hell. The first item block? Falls and crushes you when you hit it! The pit spikes? Shoot freaking lasers that slice you to bits when you jump over them and that's if they don't move themselves to where you would originally land! The safe platform at the other end? Suddenly tilts sideways for no reason at all! The harmless bush you just walked past? Grows teeth and bites your head off! The tiny white cloud that you thought was part of the background? Just blasted you with lightning! The secret Warp Zone you found? Sends you back to the first level of the game!Īnd when you finally, finally get that precious Super Mushroom? Makes you grow so monstrously huge that the floor cracks in half and you plunge into the center of the Earth.
It may be fiendishly difficult, but it's still par for the course. It's not uncommon to have to Double Jump between Floating Platforms over spiked pits, dash between three sets of synchronized fire vents, then bounce off a flying enemy to hit an item block, all while dodging those Goddamned Bats and Demonic Spiders. Video game protagonists often have bad days. If you want a picture of the future, imagine a plumber jumping into an invisible coin block and falling to his death, repeatedly - forever.
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